I’m still on summer break, and I promise new articles coming soon. In the meantime, here’s a little update on my summer adventures. Some of you know last year my friend Shelly and I were in a bad bike crash. A piece of wood took us down and we sported the latest and greatest in slings and casts for the rest of the summer. Another nifty souvenir from that fall was a newfound fear of cycling. “Fear” isn’t a strong enough word. Let’s try “terror.” We’ve ridden a few times since that fall, mostly on a paved path designated for bikes and pedestrians only. In other words, no traffic. Our longest ride was around 40 miles, but it wasn’t about mileage. Those rides were about conquering our fears. Well, guess what. We didn’t. That’s right. We didn’t. We are still scared. Terrified, even.
Wait. Isn’t this story supposed to be about getting back in the saddle (pardon the pun), conquering our fears and coming out the other side better for it? Yeah, real life doesn’t follow a script.
Last Saturday Shelly and I and our other cycling friend Lisa drove to Idaho to ride in our first organized ride since the crash. We rode the Goldilocks Century in Nampa, Idaho. We chose it for it’s fairly flat course, beautiful scenery, good support, and really good sandwiches. Because of near 105 degree temps (but mostly because I’m scared) we opted out of the usual 100-mile distance we usually do and chose to ride the 80-mile route.
I was literally shaking when we started. It didn’t help that as we waited at the start line, we heard two cars skid and collide in the intersection just feet away. Twenty-five miles in we were met with a steep downhill, 12% grade, with a right turn at the bottom. I’d rather climb than descend and I said more prayers on the way down that hill than I’ve said in a year. The nerves dissipated a bit after the halfway mark, but I don’t think there was ever a moment I felt 100% comfortable. In fact, I doubt I ever will again.
So what’s the point of this cheerful update? I was scared, but I rode anyway. Doing things that truly frighten us is the very definition of courage and I’m owning it today. We were all scared at one point or another, but our seats didn’t leave the saddle until we crossed the finish line.
What’s next? I don’t know. Will I do another organized ride? If you’d asked me Saturday, my answer was a definite, “No!” Ask me today, I’m not sure. But what I am sure of is that we have guts. It’s days like Saturday that I will tuck into my back pocket and pull out as a reminder every time I’m faced with something that shakes me to my core. We really can do hard things.